by Varun Gandhi
We all – whatever your current relationship status is - at some point in our
lives have had this lonely feeling. For me, it usually comes about when I see
happy couples, enjoying each other’s company, walking hand-in-hand at the park,
or indulging in PDA (a strategy devised by married couples to evoke jealousy in
us single folk, damn YOU, it works all the time), so well essentially, being
all coupley with each other all the damn time.
That’s when two thoughts come about (usually in this
particular order): why the hell is this hot chic with THAT guy and gosh I miss
having that go to person in my life. The first thought comes and goes in
passing. But that second one sticks for hours on end, which usually triggers a
texting frenzy. Click, click, click…on my Nokia brick phone. Oh wait, let me
come back to this century…on my iPhone. I search for all the single girls (at
least to the last of my knowledge; I last met Harmony 5 years ago and she was
single then, she has to be single now too, right) in my contact list and send a
barrage of messages, along these lines:
Hi sexy, how are you doing?
-No
response-
Wanna hang?
-No
response-
I could use a massage
-No
response-
I have a bachelor party gig for you
How
much?
**Blocked**
Sigh, NEXT!!!
5 hours later, no luck. I’m still companionless.
The deeper question here is why do we have this tendency to
search for a companion? Why are we actively pursuing this person?
It could be that you feel your life is incomplete without a
significant other, it could be that this person would make your life easier, it
could be that joy in life increases when shared, or just the fear of being
forever lonely.
Whatever your reason may be, I think we set ourselves up for
disappointment when we meet every potential significant other with these
massive expectations.
What if instead, we enrich our lives by practicing skills
that interest us, or by picking up that one new skill – playing the guitar –
that you’ve always wanted to possess. The activity exposes us to people in a setting
comfortable for everyone, where we learn to play the guitar together, which
could set up something beautiful for the future.
What if instead, we learn to be happy internally, learn to
be happy with ourselves, with who we are. I’ve heard quite a few people
complain about being alone, “One day is fine, but after that I’ll go insane”.
But isn’t this the perfect time to learn about the stuff you are made of, what
drives you and what ticks you, what uplifts you and what brings you down.
What if instead, we transform ourselves to spiritual beings,
transform the inner workings of our heart, mind and soul through mediation;
through introspection, focusing on your thoughts, who they are directed to, are
they positive or negative, supportive or destructive.
But what I learned from my search is instead, we let the
other person waltz (or salsa their way) into our lives at the right time, the
right moment, when both are ready to embark on this magical experience that I’d
like to call…LIFE.
