Passing Feelings

by Kiera Anselme

Eyes shut tight,

the moment was real for me.

Your presence was comforting,

reassuring.

How was I to know that

you were an actor resting in the flesh of the man I thought I wanted?

I was sure of your need for my existence until you yanked back,

causing me to stumble to the ground.

And as I hit, my pride would not let me make a single sound,

but inside the pain screamed.

How was I to know,

you could never love as I was willing to love you.

Left rethinking the actuality of your affections toward me –

no, I must have understood wrong,

I must have let my day dreams exaggerate his actions and words.

“God damn you are so beautiful.

And I want you so badly.

I want to write you poetry and sing you songs.”

Re-reading, rethinking,

how strange to see the illusion behind all words spoken and written.

They are merely left from the lips of one with certain meaning,

to find the ears of another and perceived completely differently.

What helps me to forget you is to walk,

walk away thinking you had not meant what I heard.